Insight Out

My promise for when queen Corona leaves the building

By Mei Lan

One of the things I’ve learnt in this corona times
– I consciously call it corona TIMES. I don’t want to call it a crisis, or a lock down or anything else that colours my experience.
I’m well aware of the power of my words and the impact I create with language. (If you want to know more about this, send me a message)
This is a time where corona is present in our day to day life, yet it might as well not be for some. I’ve noticed that the book I’m writing or the goals I have set for running and sleep improvement, have been more present the last days.
Anyway, I’m not going to go into over positivism saying that we might as well live like queen corona didn’t enter the building. Of course not, she is there and she is stubborn and dominant.
(drama queen, attention seeker :p)

One of the things I vividly experience since the start of this corona times is kind of vague and very concrete at the same time.
When scrolling through my phone this morning, with my favourite coffee cup next to my iPhone on the table, a close friend pops up in my mind. I see her in front of my minds eye and decide to send her a message. I had no idea what to write as we spoke yesterday, but I just sent her some emoji’s with hearts and stars. Expressing love I guess. Whatever she wants to read in it, a bit of random love and acts of appreciation never hurt, right? 😉
Almost instantly she writes back:
“wow, comes at the exact right moment! thanks for holding space for me”
Yes, we have this wooh-wooh-friendship and we are both coaches, so sometimes we tend to be a bit ‘spiritual’. A couple of years ago I would have looked at my older self and think “gosh, how cheesy and tree hugging are you?”
Nowadays I can only confirm that I feel this intuition, connection over a distance and spirituality right awake within me.
When I read her reply, my heart felt warm, bouncing in my chest and I felt like I was hugging this friend in ‘real life’ (whatever ‘real’ may be)
I felt the love and appreciation running through my body.
Through only intension and choice, I felt we shared a real, connected, close moment together.
Not to say that I don’t miss hanging out with my favourite people, going for lunches and coffees or just walking arm in arm in the park. I deeply long for this shared quality time without speakers and wifi involved.
And still… Queen corona did show me the energetic connection that ties us closer together than any park or festival will ever do.

The warmth in my heart I felt this morning reminded me of an intense experience I had when I meditated in complete darkness and silence by myself for 5 days in a row. (again, if you’re curious, send me a message 😉 )
While sitting in the darkness and heavy silence, I woke up on the third day with clear pictures of all the people I ever loved or appreciated in my life. In front of my inner eye they all walked towards me and smiled and me. As a lunatic I widely smiled back and each and every one of them. Sitting in darkness, without a sound but my own breathe, I felt my heart growing and growing until I existed only as a giant bouncing heart.
And then, I started laughing out loud. Yup, crazy, that is what I thought while laughing my ass off.
It was laughing out of pure relief.
I was alone, in the darkness, without a phone, internet or any connection to anyone else. Yet I felt so fucking connected to all those people.
I had to laugh, simply because I saw the ridicule in all the times I told myself I am separated from someone because of distance, because of not being able to have eye contact due to being blind, because of misunderstandings or different opinions…
How can I ever still fool myself that I’m anything else then pure connection?
I sit alone in darkness and silence and I so physically experience connection!
It is then and there that I have declared: I. AM. CONNECTION.
(remember, the power of words…)

Thank you, misses Covid-19, for reminding me this morning…

By finding the hot line to my own body and heart, by allowing my mind to come up with random people while drinking coffee and following that impulse, I am constantly and deeply connected with my favourite people, with random partly strangers and thus, with all of you and us…

Isn’t it magical? Isn’t it a bit tree hugging hippie and still a wonderful thing to believe in?

I’m promising here and now, to you and myself, that I will not forget about this after corona has left the building.