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Insight Out

Seeing beyond what is visible

The bubble of the one perfect life

By Mei Lan

Do you also have those moments where you realise you were living in a bubble? You saw something as true that afterwards turns out to be totally different.
Sometimes I am so convinced that a conversation is gonna be so annoying, that I am totally surprised if it turns out the other way.
I was living in the bubble of things being difficult.
I think we all create many bubbles together.
Sooner or later the bubbles pop and we find ourselves in a completely different reality.

I lived in a bubble for almost 20 years and came out of it recently.
When I was 5 years old I had a allergic reaction to medication and became blind over the years. While dealing with the process of acceptance I created the bubble of the one perfect life.
I had the idea that I missed the exit to the road to that one perfect other life when I was 5.
I created the bubble that there were only 2 options for me: To be come blind or not.
I spent many thoughts and lots of energy on how my life would have been if I wasn’t blind.
Every situation had a parallel option in my mind from that other perfect life.
The confrontation with all that was missing in my current life was very tough every time.

I think it must have been part of the phase of denial. Like mourning people who like to believe that their death loved one is living inside the cat or something.
I really needed to hold on to that one, parallel, perfect life.
Now that I am outside of that bubble I see that there were millions of other options for my life.
I could have been a happy horse on a grass field or a pink pony on a rainbow. On these other scenario’s I have never spent so many energy or thoughts.

I was living in the illusion that one single choice 20 years ago had defined my life completely.
While now, I see that literally EVERY single choice at EVERY single moment excludes thousands of options and opens the door for a 7 billion other options for the future.
What a huge relief! Now I no longer have to waste energy on everything that is NOT.
Since that realisation, I am here. In the only life that matters out of all options. My life, here and now.

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