Insight Out

Music to my body

By Mei Lan

While taking a shower today I suddenly had the idea to put on some music again.
Strangely enough I fill my days with lots of sounds, but very rarely it is music.
There is always something in the background playing.
Youtube with a bad soap or a great inspirational speaker, podcasts stuffed with bullshit or full of interesting knowledge, but only sometimes it is music.

The only time I really listen to music is with my boyfriend in the car.
Singing along. Me totally out of key and him trying to stay tuned next to me.
Music seems to be an invitation for me to do a work out with my voice and – when not in the car – with my body.

So showering I sang along with my playlist on Spotify.
That playlist is a great collection of all songs I love to sing. Good and bad.
I admit, some songs on that playlist are just really bad.
Great fun! 😉

There I was, under the streaming water, putting soap in my hair and avoiding it to get into my eyes, while I became aware of my body and my voice.
Probably many people do this every morning, but the exceptionality of the situation brought me into the moment with a very clear gaze.

I felt my (out of key) singing vibrating in my chest.
My voice bouncing of the walls of the bathroom.
Muscles tensing and relaxing while I made funny dance moves.
Slowly, as at the beginning of spring time, my body woke up.

I’m quite aware in daily life, but it happens to me often that I suddenly realise how much I was living from my head.
The last days I wasn’t sleeping very well and it makes my body feel stiff.
My overall physical condition wasn’t as great as I would have wished.
To avoid being irritated by my own body, I slowly and sneekily decent into my head.
And there, in my mind, I go sit and wait.
Let me tell you, waiting is one of the most unsatisfying things in my life.
I am inpatient, delisciously inpatient, when it comes to living and experiencing.

Do you know that phenomenon of little babies who have just discovered their own voice?
I once heard you have to imitate them at that age.
Make the weirdest noises they make, so they can hear how they sound.
Small children make the funniest bends and turns with their voice, way too loud for our adult ears, but the only thing they’re doing is getting to know their body.

How often do you speak and sing that consciously?
How often do you dance with utter curiosity about how it feels to dance?

It is thanks to the break I sometimes take from being in my body, that I could stand in the shower with this total wonder.
Hearing the vibrations of my voice, feeling my feat on the wet floor, and as a new born baby being SO happy with every new sensation.

While I got dressed and started working the playlist stayed on.
And all of a sudden, I realised how much easier I was touched by things.
That one song that just moved me deeply. That lyric that was just so much more funny.
A very loving letter to a dear friend flowed out of my fingers.
Burried dreams and inspirations floated out of my head like clouds, ready to take shape.

Isn’t this magic?!

I do not advice you to go live in your head all the time, so every now and then, you can experience this. 😉 This needs to wear a warning “Do not try this at home”
Living from the head removes taste and colour from your life.
Regardless, I celebrate the waking up today!