Insight Out

“Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.” — Anaïs Nin

By Mei Lan

On the home page of my website (www.insightout.world) it says:
“Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.” — Anaïs Nin
When I chose this quote to summarise somehow my vision for Insight Out, my coaching company, I didn’t see the full scope of it. Yet, ever since it has been guidance in my life and it proofs itself time after time to be right.

As a blind person in Belgium I receive a decent amount of money monthly. The idea is that because of my disability it is harder (or maybe impossible, not sure what the goverment would say about this) for me to earn an income.
I went through all the phases of wasting the money as a student on shopping, to feeling guilty for having it, to now consciously spending the money on my growth and building a coaching business to return to society what I have received (and maybe even more;-) )
There is a lot to say about money carrying energy and what this does to the receiver, or not. How I have the choice to make ‘pitty money’ into a powerful tool. Yet, this might be the topic of a next article.

In Belgium the tax law does not make it easy for a person with a disability to start a business. It costs me much more money to own the business than that there is money coming in. I do have the money because of my blindness that is enough to live of and save up a bit to pay the taxes, but it is a stretch. If I would have a job as an employee somewhere, my taxes would be much lower and starting up a business would be financially a lot easier.
Yet, I receive the money from the government, because it is hard for a blind person to find a job. It does cost me much more energy to travel back and forth to a working space, I do have a disadventage on the labour market, but mostly, I am a coach and coaches are a bit particular in what kind of jobs they want. 🙂
My heart and soul or in coaching and empowerment and I clearly made the choice to work as a coach.

A couple of months ago I found myself in a financial panic attack. I was hardly earning enough with the business, it didn’t look like it was gonna change quickly and my savings were finished. I had no clients, not even a prospect.
I drew the conclusion that I needed at least a part time job to survive and sustain my business.
It all sounded very logical; part time job, part time growing the business, save, risk free and peace of mind.
Creatively, I forced myself into applying for jobs, speaking to my big network of different people if they could help me get a job, using the word of mouth tactics to get me into business’s and organisations, etc. I was networking my ass off and yet nothing happened.
Nobody was interested in my funny, impressive application letters and no organisation was waiting for my bubbly coaching energy. Just not interested.
My ego started to crumble and I became very insecure.
How is this blind girl ever gonna mean something in the world I I can’t even get a part time simple job? I have silly degrees in radio production and peace building, I have a CV that sounds like nothing, I am unworthy.
Yep, all down the drain went the bubbly creativity and enthusiasm.
Untill in daunt to me: This is not in flow. The universe is not supporting this whole partime job security, risk free plan of mine.

And then I remembered: Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.
What would courage do right now? I asked myself.
Courage does not do risk free plans or security. Courage does crazy stuff. Courage jumps into the unknown with a big smile on its face. Courage seeks the risks and transforms them into opportunities.

I won’t pretend that it took me only these thoughts and off I went. It took me a couple of days with these thoughts and a frank conversation with a friend.
And then I jumped.

I completely parked the idea of the part time job and returned to my bank account. I reinstalled the savings plan I had before. I decided to cut back in expanses and chose fully for my business, Insight Out. I am a coach and I will make my business gain an income I can easily life off.

Within a week I had 3 leads, friends of former clients who asked for coaching. I had someone asking me if I could coach a woman who didn’t have any money. Against all financial advice I offered her coaching completely for free. I just felt inspired to give to the collective, trusting that I would gain something just from giving selflessly.
That same week I was asked to contribute to a project to support former cancer patiencts with a coaching programme and I was invited to network event that usually costs about 900 euros as a participant, for free!
Conclusion: From the moment I let go of my fear and doubts financially, my business started to flow, energy was just moving and the universe was simply on my side.
Logical, because “life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage”.
So am I happily enjoying the expansion of life and my business. proudly investing all my money and energy into a business that is fully me.